Burger Night #7 Inkwenkwezi Game Reserve

Burger night is becoming a formidable movement, striking fear into kitchens across East London.  This month the crowd ventured out to Inkwenkwezi on the Jikeleza Route.  A massive 50 people rsvp'ed, and I was convinced we'd put at least one restuarant manager into the ICU with our booking, but the restaurant swallowed us and they happily grouped us together on the enclosed deck.

Inkwenkwezi is well known for making the biggest burgers in the greater East Londoon area, and was a must visit on our burger-bucket list.

Theme for the night was as always, apt.  Inkwenkwezi is a game reserve and decorated with that in mind, we went with an African theme - which was interpreted in a variety of accurate and less-accurate ways.

When you book at a restaurant for anything more than 20 people, we've found that the lead time on your food can become exhaustingly long, and the resturant risks the furniture being left with teeth marks on it.  I arrived, conditioned, ready for a long wait because of our massive group.  But we didn't wait.  Relatively speaking.  It gave everyone a good chance to chat, mingle, schmooze and then the many, many burgers started arriving. (Since writing this I've reviewed the scoresheets and comments and it seems quite a few people did wait, reflected in the scoreboard.)

The burger?
You ain't seen a big burger till you've seen one of these.  I feel deceitful even comparing it to any of the others we've sampled these last months.  It's a loaf of bread, round bread... the sort of bread a roll wants to be when it grows up... with a large patty, a small vegetable garden worth of garnish, wearing a hat made of chips.

The pattie is tasty, but the sheer quantity of bread pretty much eclipses everything else.  It's not elegant, but then that was never the point.  When they drew up a list of burger-objectives, elegance wasn't mentioned.  I doubt whether anyone in the room could even spell it.

The chips?
The chips, the "hat", were covered in a tasty sauce.  Alledgedly mushroom, but I can neither confirm nor deny that.  It was tasty though.

It's hard to present something this big with any degree of style.  It would be like trying to dress an elephant for the ballet.  If your ballet involves an elephant, it's not there because you needed something pretty.  You needed an elephant.  While the restuarant is large yet very tastefully decorated, the burger calls it a day at large.

The Inkwenkwezi burger is an event.  This was the only meal which made people gasp, and much of the conversation that night revolved around a friend of a cousin's dad twice removed who'd actually finished one.  Don't go expecting a boutique experience, but go and have a jol.  Totally worth it.

Final bill for the evening, Half a burger, chips + Amstel and tip, somewhere around R55.

Contact details:
GPS co-ordinates  S32 50' 18.4" E28 4' 43.1"
Tel: +27 (043) 734 3234
Email: pgr@inkwenkwezi.co.za

Burger Night #6 The East London Yacht Club

We seem to have missed the February deadline for another Burger Night, but we might double up in March.  Balance.

Last nights event was held at the East London Yacht Club.  Turns out there is more than one yacht club, the singular harbour complicating the matter.  We spent the evening on the West Bank of East London's Buffalo River, looking out over the many docked yachts; highlighted first by the sunset, and later by the yellow harbour lights.  If it sounds a little dramatic, then you're feeling me on this.  The venue is fantastic - it is without pretense and great for a big group to enjoy an evening together, with just enough space for seating and possibly some dancing - if you have an itch.

The theme was nautical.  Continuing the run of appropriate theme'ing.  My original plan to go as a pirate was hamstrung by my schedule, but my stripey golf shirt was strangely appropriate.  Everyone put in a good effort, the more attainable dress code definitely got a better response.

There wasn't a waiter per se', we're still not exactly sure who was who, but the food was prepared by a duo who worked solid for 3 or 4 hours to cater for our group.  Unfortunately the lead time on getting food was quite long (read very long), its probably best to enquire about catering for big groups, or to provide food that doesn't require onsite prep; finger foods or cold foods.  We came for burgers, and this might not have been standard fare for the kitchen team.

The burger?
The art of food reviewing is tricky.  We were all hungry, the burger was the answer.  Unfortunately it was cold by the time it made it to HQ, but it definitely hit the spot.  There was good garnish and a special mayo sauce, but all in all, it didn't have the presence of the Crickter's pattie, or the presentation of Primi Piatti.  It was tasty, but I wouldn't mark it down as an East London must-do.

The chips?
Somewhat in contrast to the burger, the chips were piping hot and found a comfortable home between crispy and slap.  They were great and definiely added value to the meal.

As a bonus, the club provided desert, included in the meal cost.

I wasn't sure what to expect form the clubhouse, but, as you can see from the scoreboard, the venue and ambience was fantastic.  The drinks were well priced and the club members were very accomodating.  All in all, a beautiful evening out.  I'll be investigating the option of having breakfast at the club soon.

Final bill: Burger + Chips, Ice-cream and Amstel R50.

For enquiries tel: 043 722 2278

Find a map here

Burger Night #5 The Cricketer

After a break for Christmas, Burger Night has made a return.  In our quest for the perfect burger, we all made the (relative to East London) trek out to The Cricketer.  After a brisk 15 minute drive with Noelle, we piled out of the Zafira to see what lay in store for our 5th event.

The Cricketer is the restuarant on the 2 Swans wedding farm, found on the East Cape Resorts Road (enroute to Chintsa, Areena etc).  Its housed in a log cabin, on the hill adjacent to the wedding farm.

Selecting a theme for the night wasn't hard, as you can imagine... but rather than try and source a pair of white pants and one of those hats, we widened the dress code to sporty.

I had a painted face, and as such collected a lot of stares from other patrons, so I didn't spend much time inspecting the decor - rather I made a bee-line for the patio and our massive table (30 + people came along).  Needless to say, there is a lot of cricket paraphenalia, but all tastefully applied.  We liked the coasters in particular.  I also didn't feel like I was at a dated country-club'esque restuarant, so they seem to have found a balance.

Our table was looked after by one waiter, which is an impressive feat.  When you're looking after 30 people delays can be expected, but no complaints about service.

The burger?
Prior to all of this burger sampling, I'd become accustomed to the run of the mill burgers they sell at fast food joints and hadn't realised how much scope there was in patty-production.  The Cricketer patty was great, like something from a vegetarian's nightmare; the large, homemade patty overflowed over the bun.  It was wicket.

The chips?
We had a table of 30... and there might have been another 20 people inside... non Burger Nighters... as such, extending the Cricketer's chip production past its capacity.  Something I really appreciated about the management, was that they seemed to make pro-active arrangements to make sure we all ate at once.  To accomodate the group, we got potatoe wedges instead, which was actually a welcome change.  I left satisfied and full of potatoe.

The location of the Cricketer lends itself to a pleasant evening in the country.  I'd like to apologise to the other visitors who arrived expecting that; we were loud.  I'm quite keen to head back for lunch sometime, I think it would be well suited to a sunny afternoon and an umbrella on the porch.

Total bill: Burger and Wedges + Amstel + Tip R80.

To make a booking (essential if you arrive with 29 friends...) Tel: 083 659 8899, or email to alison@2swans.co.za.  To see it on a map, click here