Burger Night #7 Inkwenkwezi Game Reserve

Burger night is becoming a formidable movement, striking fear into kitchens across East London.  This month the crowd ventured out to Inkwenkwezi on the Jikeleza Route.  A massive 50 people rsvp'ed, and I was convinced we'd put at least one restuarant manager into the ICU with our booking, but the restaurant swallowed us and they happily grouped us together on the enclosed deck.

Inkwenkwezi is well known for making the biggest burgers in the greater East Londoon area, and was a must visit on our burger-bucket list.

Theme for the night was as always, apt.  Inkwenkwezi is a game reserve and decorated with that in mind, we went with an African theme - which was interpreted in a variety of accurate and less-accurate ways.

When you book at a restaurant for anything more than 20 people, we've found that the lead time on your food can become exhaustingly long, and the resturant risks the furniture being left with teeth marks on it.  I arrived, conditioned, ready for a long wait because of our massive group.  But we didn't wait.  Relatively speaking.  It gave everyone a good chance to chat, mingle, schmooze and then the many, many burgers started arriving. (Since writing this I've reviewed the scoresheets and comments and it seems quite a few people did wait, reflected in the scoreboard.)

The burger?
You ain't seen a big burger till you've seen one of these.  I feel deceitful even comparing it to any of the others we've sampled these last months.  It's a loaf of bread, round bread... the sort of bread a roll wants to be when it grows up... with a large patty, a small vegetable garden worth of garnish, wearing a hat made of chips.

The pattie is tasty, but the sheer quantity of bread pretty much eclipses everything else.  It's not elegant, but then that was never the point.  When they drew up a list of burger-objectives, elegance wasn't mentioned.  I doubt whether anyone in the room could even spell it.

The chips?
The chips, the "hat", were covered in a tasty sauce.  Alledgedly mushroom, but I can neither confirm nor deny that.  It was tasty though.

It's hard to present something this big with any degree of style.  It would be like trying to dress an elephant for the ballet.  If your ballet involves an elephant, it's not there because you needed something pretty.  You needed an elephant.  While the restuarant is large yet very tastefully decorated, the burger calls it a day at large.

The Inkwenkwezi burger is an event.  This was the only meal which made people gasp, and much of the conversation that night revolved around a friend of a cousin's dad twice removed who'd actually finished one.  Don't go expecting a boutique experience, but go and have a jol.  Totally worth it.

Final bill for the evening, Half a burger, chips + Amstel and tip, somewhere around R55.

Contact details:
GPS co-ordinates  S32 50' 18.4" E28 4' 43.1"
Tel: +27 (043) 734 3234
Email: pgr@inkwenkwezi.co.za

Burger Night #6 The East London Yacht Club

We seem to have missed the February deadline for another Burger Night, but we might double up in March.  Balance.

Last nights event was held at the East London Yacht Club.  Turns out there is more than one yacht club, the singular harbour complicating the matter.  We spent the evening on the West Bank of East London's Buffalo River, looking out over the many docked yachts; highlighted first by the sunset, and later by the yellow harbour lights.  If it sounds a little dramatic, then you're feeling me on this.  The venue is fantastic - it is without pretense and great for a big group to enjoy an evening together, with just enough space for seating and possibly some dancing - if you have an itch.

The theme was nautical.  Continuing the run of appropriate theme'ing.  My original plan to go as a pirate was hamstrung by my schedule, but my stripey golf shirt was strangely appropriate.  Everyone put in a good effort, the more attainable dress code definitely got a better response.

There wasn't a waiter per se', we're still not exactly sure who was who, but the food was prepared by a duo who worked solid for 3 or 4 hours to cater for our group.  Unfortunately the lead time on getting food was quite long (read very long), its probably best to enquire about catering for big groups, or to provide food that doesn't require onsite prep; finger foods or cold foods.  We came for burgers, and this might not have been standard fare for the kitchen team.

The burger?
The art of food reviewing is tricky.  We were all hungry, the burger was the answer.  Unfortunately it was cold by the time it made it to HQ, but it definitely hit the spot.  There was good garnish and a special mayo sauce, but all in all, it didn't have the presence of the Crickter's pattie, or the presentation of Primi Piatti.  It was tasty, but I wouldn't mark it down as an East London must-do.

The chips?
Somewhat in contrast to the burger, the chips were piping hot and found a comfortable home between crispy and slap.  They were great and definiely added value to the meal.

As a bonus, the club provided desert, included in the meal cost.

I wasn't sure what to expect form the clubhouse, but, as you can see from the scoreboard, the venue and ambience was fantastic.  The drinks were well priced and the club members were very accomodating.  All in all, a beautiful evening out.  I'll be investigating the option of having breakfast at the club soon.

Final bill: Burger + Chips, Ice-cream and Amstel R50.

For enquiries tel: 043 722 2278

Find a map here

Burger Night #5 The Cricketer

After a break for Christmas, Burger Night has made a return.  In our quest for the perfect burger, we all made the (relative to East London) trek out to The Cricketer.  After a brisk 15 minute drive with Noelle, we piled out of the Zafira to see what lay in store for our 5th event.

The Cricketer is the restuarant on the 2 Swans wedding farm, found on the East Cape Resorts Road (enroute to Chintsa, Areena etc).  Its housed in a log cabin, on the hill adjacent to the wedding farm.

Selecting a theme for the night wasn't hard, as you can imagine... but rather than try and source a pair of white pants and one of those hats, we widened the dress code to sporty.

I had a painted face, and as such collected a lot of stares from other patrons, so I didn't spend much time inspecting the decor - rather I made a bee-line for the patio and our massive table (30 + people came along).  Needless to say, there is a lot of cricket paraphenalia, but all tastefully applied.  We liked the coasters in particular.  I also didn't feel like I was at a dated country-club'esque restuarant, so they seem to have found a balance.

Our table was looked after by one waiter, which is an impressive feat.  When you're looking after 30 people delays can be expected, but no complaints about service.

The burger?
Prior to all of this burger sampling, I'd become accustomed to the run of the mill burgers they sell at fast food joints and hadn't realised how much scope there was in patty-production.  The Cricketer patty was great, like something from a vegetarian's nightmare; the large, homemade patty overflowed over the bun.  It was wicket.

The chips?
We had a table of 30... and there might have been another 20 people inside... non Burger Nighters... as such, extending the Cricketer's chip production past its capacity.  Something I really appreciated about the management, was that they seemed to make pro-active arrangements to make sure we all ate at once.  To accomodate the group, we got potatoe wedges instead, which was actually a welcome change.  I left satisfied and full of potatoe.

The location of the Cricketer lends itself to a pleasant evening in the country.  I'd like to apologise to the other visitors who arrived expecting that; we were loud.  I'm quite keen to head back for lunch sometime, I think it would be well suited to a sunny afternoon and an umbrella on the porch.

Total bill: Burger and Wedges + Amstel + Tip R80.

To make a booking (essential if you arrive with 29 friends...) Tel: 083 659 8899, or email to alison@2swans.co.za.  To see it on a map, click here

Burger Night #4 Foodelicious

Round 4 of the East London Burger Night adventure found as at Foodelicious (Tecoma Street), a sweet spot in the heart of Berea, just across from Ashmaels Spar.  Burger Night is getting more and more popular and again we booked out half of the venue, with a scoreboard topping 29 people!

This month's theme was Hippie 60's.  Some of the new attendees put in some serious effort, the lonely few who hadn't borrowed clothes from their girlfriends definitely in the minority.

The restuarant is decorated, by design, with an eclectic collection of wooden furniture and the sort of things you might find in your lounge, the one you entertain your guests in. Rich colours, artwork (for sale) and a bookcase full of board games give Foodelicious a really comfortable, inviting vibe.

The mixed furniture and tight corners made moving around a bit of a problem, when we were all seated - especially after putting away a burger and chips, but it was strangely suited to the atmosphere.

Our group was serviced by two waiters... this not being a definitive review, I can only speak for ours.  She was great, making regular visits to make sure everyone had what they wanted, and there were no order mixups.  Infact, as you're about to read below, the only real issue that emerged all night was the lead time on getting your food.

Our table was served very quickly, but then there were long delays for the other 3 tables, leaving some questions about their capacity to service big groups.  None the less, all food did eventually arrive, warm and ready to eat.

We visited on a Tuesday night, in order to take advantage of the Buy 1, get one free Burger deal.

The Burger?
The biggest difference in Foodelicious' offering is the homemade'ness of the patty.  The beef patty was a hefty slab, full of tasty herbs and real meat.  It was a pleasant change in texture from the processed feel of past meals.  The burger was of average size, but the quality of the filling satisfied.

Chips?
Another great aspect of the service was the ease of swopping items on your plate.  They may regret me writing this, but it was no problem to trade salad for chips, or have half-half.  The chips were good, thin and almost crispy, very much what I would expect given the venue and target market.  The portion was sensible.

Vibe?
Foodelicious treads the line of trendy hot-spot and comfortable coffee shop.  The ambience rating on the scoreboard tells the whole story.  It isn't as upmarket chic as Cafe Neo, but our group of 30 people, ranging from students to professionals loved it.  It's not quaint, its a well thoughtout, niche restuarant.

Currently there is no liquor license, which for the visitor is actually fantastic, and we took full advantage.

Final bill: R45 for Burger, Coke + tip.

Burger Night #3 Cafe Neo

The pursuit of the ultimate burger lead us to one of East London's most recent entrants into the restuarant market, Cafe Neo.  You'll find it above the bastion of burgers in Slummies, the Windmill... The telephone number is : 043 722 4531.
It was with interest that I arrived, given the ground-floor heritage in burgers, it could prove to be an interesting meal.

This month's dress up theme was Glamour.  After celebrating International Suit Up Day I resisted the temptation to Suiting Up, in favour of a shirt and tie... and jeans - its Burger Night after all. We saw some awesome committment from the 31 people that rocked up for the eating.  Well played Burger Night attendees.

Ironically, as I walked into the restuarant I spotted a table of suits... realising that they weren't part of our group, it became clear that we had made a major move upward in the social areena from last month's visit to Buccs.  Time would tell if Cafe Neo could unseat Buccs as the current title holder.

We were a big group.  The popularity of eating Hamburgers on a week night seems to have taken off, or maybe our friends just enjoy suiting up, or maybe there wasn't much on TV - whatever the case, we had 30+ attending, and for any restuarant that presents a problem.  We'd been assigned about a third of the floor space, but were dissappointed that our group had to split itself into four groups, tables in relatively short supply.

I opted for a beef burger, the original.  I did spot a couple of chicken burgers and housemate Nic put away a dagwood.  Well played Nic.

The food arrived without much delay - just enough time to become fully eager.  Our waiter, faced with a swarm of mobile patrons did fantastically to make sure everyone had a drink infront of them, and even remembered an hour and a half later that I'd ordered an Amstel - my empty long gone.  Well played Our-waiter.

The Burger?
Interesting point this... bear with me.  I've realised that being an impartial food reviewer is tricky - you experience your meal in the context of the restuarant you're in and then there's the compounding issue of price.  The burger wasn't what I was expecting, given the decor/atmosphere, but it was still good.  Very similar to the offering from Buccs, it was large and the pattie was well sized.  Plenty of garnish too.  More attractively presented and definitely not as messy as the bar.

Chips?
The chips were on the thin side, not crispy - more in line with expectations.  Downstairs you get a punnet of artery busters, but the Cafe provided a more classy, manageable variety.  Portion could have been a little larger, but satisfactory on the whole.

Vibe?
Cafe Neo has a great vibe and the 20-something crowd only had good things to say about the atmosphere, decor and its inherent similarity to all things Cape Town.  Its upmarket, but casual - and you'll feel comfortable so long as you're wearing shoes and a clean shirt.  No small feat.  Pants advised.

This has been our most successful burger night s far.  The venue was great and we'll all be going back soon - Cafe Neo is definitely filling a niche, and doing it better than anyone else in town.

Final bill was R55 for a burger, Amstel + tip.

Burger night #2 Buccaneers Pub & Grill

In order to get more people in on this Burger Night thing, and to avoid it becoming just one person's problem, the onus of organisation is being passed around for each night.  As such, I got landed with Round 2... but it turned out to be a piece of cake... Faceboook, I appreciate you.  One message and a phone call later, and the night was 'planned'.

Daniel mentioned that Buccaneers Pub & Grill has a burger special on a Tuesday, a two for the price of one deal.  It seemed to good to be true and I was a little suspicious of what those burgers might prove to be... but we settled on Buccs all the same.

The theme for the evening was 'Crazy hats'... or 'Hat' of you're an accountant.  There was a mixed turnout, ranging from Beanie's & Caps to Cowboy hats and a faux-mohawk.  It would appear that I know more accountants than I realised.  I may even be dating one... ?!

The evening was well supported, 20 people pitched and we filled the long table Buccs had set aside for us.  I wasn't initially convinced that Buccs was the sort of eatery that took bookings, but they were very well organised and had kept us a giant table, inside.

Our waiter was great and coped with the trickle of people who arrived and made sure everyone had a drink within minutes of arrival.  Biggest bonus of all was the food orders... get 20 people into a room and have them all order at once, add in the complexity of 'Which sauce do you want'... and you invariably get something you didn't order.  But our waiter nailed it.  Everyone got their burger, right sauce, and the wait was reasonable.

Burgers?
The Burgers... large.  Clyde demolished his burger in a matter of minutes... but most people didn't clean their plate.  I finished, eventually... bringing up the rear.  Its definitely a good portion.  I would recommend a sauce.  Without, it might be a little dry.  The difference in price is about 7 bucks, but split in two its negligeable.  I would rate these as large & competent, if you want a value for money burger - this is definitely worth a look. I suspect the Buccs burger will prove to hold its own against far more expensive burgers in the future.

Chips?
The chips were of the 'Dry and Spicy' variety, as opposed to 'Slap'.  Everyone seemed happy, the quantity was good - personal preference as to how much spice/salt you prefer.

Vibe?
Its a bar, unapologetically.  Don't go if you want to have an inexpensive romantic time with your accountant - its not that place.  But for a crowd of 20 it was great.  The other patrons looked happy, we got a couple of looks, but my red tinsel hair could have contributed to that.  Toward the end of the evening it got pretty loud, but it wasn't out of character, so no complaints there.
Total bill: Burger & chips, Amstel + tip... R42.

Burger night #1 Primi Piatti

The journey begins!  Our first burger night, organised by Jules.  Following on from something that started during their medical internship in Pietermaritzburg, the East London edition of Burger night begins.

I wouldn't have thought of Primi Piatti as a purveyor of burgers... but then Primi is quite new in town, and I've only been there once.  In order to make each night that much more memorable, it was decided that there should be a dress-code... or theme.  Tonight was 'Bling it up'... or something along those lines.  The actual dress code turned out to be a bit of a grey area.  I got hold of a wife beater (white vest) and a chain, there was a lot of tin foil jewellery around and some slicked back hair.  Moving on.

Primi had been kind enough to keep us a table and we filled it quickly, a great turnout for the first Burger night.

Our waiter was fairly good.  Not great.  There were one or two mix ups with chicken vs. beef burgers, and one of the burger patties was of the 'Hit the cow with a hot pan' variety.  It was quickly sent back to the kitchen and replaced with a more appropriately cooked one.  We were a big group, and people arrived piece-meal.

Burgers?
The Burgers... Expensive.  Well... its always going to be relative... but thats the feeling I was left with.  Don't hate them for it, the restuarant is great, its an upmarket vibe and I'm sure rent in the mall is substantial.  The presentation is very classy, square plate and all.  The burger design leans toward boutique, rather than bar.  It was a good size, the patties were meaty and there was some great garnish.

Chips?
The chips were crispy, well spiced - I wasn't surprised that Primi had avoided serving large, slap chips.  Chips are always your own preference... I don't have a significant leaning, but at a push I like larger, chuckier chips rather than thinner, crispy ones.

Vibe?
It's in the heart of the Hemingways Mall food court, so plenty of activity around you.  The resturant and Mall merge... I wouldn't say it had its own unique vibe, but it was enjoyable all the same.  Our group was relatively noisy, but no more than the ambeint sounds coming from the mall.

Bill?
Burger & Chips, Coke + tip R85.